guilty and pardoned

now. a short story.


so he had a great idea. o how she loved him.

there is a man who sees a woman drop her scarf and says nothing.

there is a small corner of the world where people walk around with eyes crossed and teeth sharp like upside down church steeples.

a man ties a noose with a cord ripped from his stereo. it doesnt have one of those round and round knots like the ones in the movies. it is a simple slipknot. the only one he knows. he will hang like a duck in a chinese restaurant from a pipe in a spotless apartment.

a woman has an orgasm for the first time. she is twenty five years old.

a toe is stubbed and a god is cursed.

a man gets a promotion and a woman thinks its because he is a man.

a man looks around and then throws a piece of garbage in the street.

a wife learns to tell the truth. a couple is divorced. kids are ruined.

a man opens a beer and thanks god.

a kid cries in a doctors office and the doctor tells the nurse to make the kid be quiet. she gives him a sucker. the kid will remember her face and her breast and the uniform when he is older.

there is the sky. there are clouds in some spots and there are no clouds in some spots. it is raining. we are already dead. both heaven and hell can be found on earth. oh well. then he sighs. oh and then she screams. somebody remembers their childhood and dials a drug dealer. the two of them are kind of friends but only talk about a few different subjects. movies. getting high. how fucked up everything is.

a mother calls her family to dinner and none of them want to come out of their rooms.

a white person is killed in africa and it makes the front page of the newspaper.

for the first time in her life a woman thinks about her mother dying and is upset about all of the times they have fought. they continue to fight almost every time they see eachother.

a soldier masturbates.

a student decides to pose nude for a friend who is a photographer. they end up having sex. they never talk again.

a teacher knows she isnt doing what she set out to do.

a man loses his job and gets drunk.

a guy tells his friends about a girl he fucked and they all laugh. he feels bad about it when his friends are no longer around.

a man thinks he is a writer. a man thinks he is a failure. a man wants more. a man dies unhappy.

she eats peanut butter by the spoonful. she gets held in the evenings.

there is a pigeon. shitting. on a window. it wont be cleaned until the next rainfall. bright green liquid gathers in the gutter. people walk by and wonder what it is. they figure its from a car but theyre not sure from which part.

a classroom of children recites the pledge of allegiance and the teacher notices how beautifully the sunlight covers the desks and walls. the teacher has many regrets. the children wont remember this day.

you wish you could take apart an engine and put it back together. you worry about being late. you hurry up.

a beer bottle is tossed through the air. it smashes on the pavement. a father hears it shatter and wonders if he can protect his children. in ten years his son will be drunk and smash a beer bottle on the street outside of someones apartment. the people in that apartment will not have kids yet.

a teenager learns about abusive relationships in health class and realizes that by definition he is in one.

a baby is covered in blood and crying. the parents smile. out of breath. it is their first child. they are unprepared but feel like they will learn as they go. things turn out okay.

in the morning

she is the furnace

warms his house
boils his water
burns his hide

she is the basement
the attic
the childhood
the firewood

she is the blanket

warms his bones
boils his blood
burns his mind

comfort and fear here and there of losing her

skin on skin
soft royalty
dark sun
true rule
four eyes
identical

airport

then the irishman. an old tree stump sprouting new life. speech equal parts irish accent and escaped mental patient. teeth like a war veteran cemetary. brown like caramel. stained from sediments carried by the wind. sentiments of hard immigrant life. a serious face when observing what surrounds him. a face jolly when engaged in conversation. one. two. three word replies. a busted smile and eyes disappeared behind six pound eyelids. head always shaking positive up and down. from a small town youve never heard of in ireland. been in new york city for twenty two years. originally came over for vacation. went back then came back. for good. visits the small town he calls home twice a year. has a wife and two kids. works construction "on big big buildings in manhattan." (then big grin). he has a winter hat with brown and gray scarecrow hair defiant beneath. he drinks dark stout in an airport bar sat at your table. he opens a package of thick individually wrapped chocolates. he dumps them all out and opens them slowly one at a time. continues to eat them slowly one at a time. he never starts the conversation or asks a question but he was the one to sit down at your table when almost all the other tables were open. he chews on his tongue and watches the people passing by. and the planes are delayed. his flight is scheduled to leave in two hours.

president

we now have one
we now have one
we now have one

deep breath
the air is fresh
again

let us not take this away from ourselves

enjoy as time will allow

it is a good day

we now have one
we now have one
we now have one

title at the end

its for the scared
the lonely
the weak
the bleak
wandering mass
confused cauldron
the epic numbers
insufferable
intolerants
the holed-up pigeon eaters
the burnt bunker survivalists
the drunk
the church
the president
the exploded civilian
the trenches
the genius
the bang bang gun gun
the trump card
the birthday wish
the unwanted guest
the night underwater
struggling to breath
it is for
the no survivors